You're Still a Freakin' Frenchie
by LadyAxios
Summary: BLU Scout still has yet to wrap his mind around the secret relationship between his mother and the RED Spy, but when a face-to-face cofrontation arises, Scout decides the best course of action between himself and his mother, as well as him and the enemy Spy. Contains language, mother-to-son family related fluff, and BLU Scout's MomxSpy. Please R&R.


**This was a request for a dear friend of mine on Tumblr. This hasn't been edited since I wrote this while I was on a plane ride to Florida, and I am on a public computer so I just wanted to get this done and over with.**

**If you spot any errors, feel free to point them out and I hope you enjoy reading this small one-shot!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Team Fortress 2.**

**P.S The names of the characters in this story are just really random, and they aren't my OC's since I don't have actual attributes to them to really call them my own.**

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"Michael, dear, I need you to sit down and talk about this with me and... the Spy. I know you're upset but-"

"Upset? You think I'm upset? HA! Now that's a fuckin' joke. No, I'm way past upset. This is fricken embarrisin'! And don't say my name in front of that backstabbin' French fruitcake!"

The BLU Scout, Michael, pulled the bill of his hat over his eyes in anger and frustration, while pacing back and forth on the plush carpeted floors. His mother and RED Spy, sat in the love seat in the living room, looking at the younger runner;one looking with concern and the other with mocking pity.

"Surely you know that I already know your name, don't you, Michael?" The RED Spy snorted and waved off the distress look of Scout's mother. "I am a Spy and I've come across the intel more than a few times to know your whole life, petit Scout. Now, sit down. Your pacing back and forth is a nuisance, as is your running on the field!"

In an instant, the runner was up close and personal to the Spy, jabbing a finger into the Spy's suit and wrinkling the ironed fabric.

"I bet you do, huh? Creepin' around like some sort of fuckin' crab! And I don't do as much running. It's more like me kicking your ass. And I bet you like it too, huh?"

The Spy merely gave a look of distaste while removing the Scout's fingers off his suit as though touching the other was a vile and filthy, disease ridden road kill.

"Don't touch me, ya fricken French frog! Imma hit ya so hard, all the queer will be knocked straight outta ya!" BLU Scout said with his dog tags jangling from his neck with his rapid movement.

"Oh, is that a threat, Mon Lapin? Pah, don't let me begin with you, Scout. Do not play a Spy's game for you will surely regret it," Giving a wicked grin in plain sight to the enemy Scout, Spy mocked the boy in the way that he enjoyed most. "I'm Scout! Rainbows make me cry!"

The Scout's face reddened as he took a step back and yelled in defense, "'Aye man, that ain't true! That's a huge load of shit coming from your mouth, or on second thought, I can't hear ya with all that dick in your mouth, ya fuckin' coward!"

"Boys, please! You both better shut tha' hell up, you're both aggrivatin' the hell outta me. And frankly,"Scout's mother then turned to her son with a fierce scowl on her face. "I'd rather not use your spare bat that's in the closet to kick ya ass, mhkay?" The woman then laid a manicured finger on her lovers chest and sent him an equal look of dislike. "Same goes for you, Florent. Otherwise, you're gettin' a mouthful of ess-car-goat down ya fricken throat."

Both men turned pale, and Scout then planted himself on the cozy blue rug in the middle of the room, still looking completely annoyed with the Frenchman sitting snuggly next to his mother.

Florent, the RED Spy, then looked to the mother of 8 and laid a casual hand on her thigh in self-assurance.

"Look, Scooty Hun, ya know mama loves ya, right?" Michael's mother said sweetly, and smiled at the begrudging nod her son gave her way. She couldn't help but notice the way his lower lip stuck out like a kicked puppy. It reminded her that Michael was still her spontaneous son, regardless of all the war and bloodshed he witnessed.

"Well, nothin' is gunna change the way ma's gunna look at ya. Plus, I am happy, and if I remember correctly," She then rose from her seat next to Florent, and kneeled carefully in front of her youngest son. Scout's mother pulled the Scout's chin up so their eyes met, and she couldn't help but exhale at the way her boy's eyes clouded over with mixed emotions. "My baby boy always told her mama that he wanted her to be happy, right?"

The Scout only mumbled and refused to make eye contact with his mother, and instead opted with staring at his nose to make his eyes cross-eyed and make two of the witnessing occupants in the room almost laugh.

"What was that, Hun? Mama didn't hear ya!"

"Yeah, yeah. Okay. Ma, I want ya to be happy, but why with him?" Scout waved his hands over to the RED Spy, but didn't look in his general direction.

"Well, sweety, it's because he makes me happy. There isn't any fine lines in between for any of us to believe otherwise. And he takes good care of me. But, could ya promise me somethin', Mikey?"

Scout only acknowledged his mother with a raised eyebrow.

Equally blue eyes connected and with a deep breath, she spoke softly while running a motherly hand through her son's brown hair.

"You and Florent don't have to get along out there, but could you at least give it a chance? Hun, he won't replace ya dad, nor will he replace you or any of ya rag-tag brothers in our lives. I promise. And I know the way you found out was nothin' but rotten, and I am really sorry you found out that way, but can ya forgive me?" She smiled warmly.

BLU Scout only nodded while struggling to contain his tears. And soon enough, the runner was embraced in his mother's warm and gentle hug, followed by a sloppy kiss to his forehead which brought an annoyed groan from the youngest son.

"Ah, ma! Not infront of the Spy! Now he's going to squeal to everyone 'bout ya leavin' your lipstick on my head!" He rubbed his forehead, trying to rid of the red lipstick stain, while Scout's mom laughed and rejoined the RED Spy on the couch.

After the BLU Scout composed himself, he looked to the enemy Spy and gave him a challenging look.

"Ya might be in a relationship with my mom, but don't think I'm going to go any easier on ya, Spy," He smiled smugly. "In fact, I'm brining the whole shitstorm your way, pallie. Can I get a 'batta batta swing!'?"

Scout's mom and Florent only laughed again. The RED Spy then gave the boy a stern, yet competitively even smug smile and spoke with upmost promise.

"But of course, you small bunny rabbit. Jump all you can, but I can assure you, I will not hesitate either."

"You're on, Spy."

"Perfect."

And with the same familiar scent of cigarette smoke filling the air, the Spy lit him cancer sticks with the upmost class, and Scout's mother leaned her head on his shoulder.

Scout might've not liked his mom's new boyfriend too much, but hell, as long as his mom was happy, he was happy. Plus, this is just more the reason to give the Frenchman a whole new meaning to the term "Ass Whoopin'!

_Ooh boy, this is about to be great!_

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**As usual, my work turned out horribly, and I think I failed with Scout's dialect and shit, and probably the character's respected roles, but what- the fuck -ever. This was super fun to write though while I was on the plane. Hope you guys liked it and R&R!**


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